I smoked my last freaking square that I promised I would. Well. Originally I was going to smoke as much as I could before 2009 because one of my resolutions for 09 is to quit cold turkey.
I had to go to work at like...4:30 a.m today. And I was down to my very last cig. As a daily routine, I smoke one cigarette going to work and another going home from work. And it was really unpleasant knowing that if I smoked it then, I wouldn't be able to smoke again later. I'm telling you...I've been smoking so long that this shit is a fucking NEED!
I decided to save my square for after work. And I forgot to cherish those last moments that I would ever have again with Marlboro. I was so in a rush to take my ass home, I completely neglected it.
Damn. Even though I really...REALLY want to quit smoking, I wish I had a square right now. Matter fact, I just remembered that I have no more.
See, Other than that daily routine I have, I have a routine too for when I decide to smoke in my home. When I smoke, I have to be on neutral. Either the music is playing or I'm reading something. But I can't smoke and engage in something that'll require physical movement. For example, I can't smoke and talk on the phone. I don't know why. I'll feel real uncomfortable. I'd have to call that muthafucka back after I finish my cigarette.
It's like I have a zone that I channel into when I'm with Marlboro. AHHHHHHHH...I'ma miss Marlboro. But that muthafucka ain't no good. I hope I stick with this. I tried sooooooooooooo many times to quit. It's really hard folks! But I'm going to try my best.
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omg girl u're telling me! the shit is reeeeeallllllyyyy hard to stop!... i tooootttallly feel ur pain girl. i'm the same - i am really trying to leave that shit alone for the 09 but all i wanna do is go out and by a pack right now! the one thing that makes me feel like, okay, i should stop is two words:
ReplyDeleteYELLOW TEETH.
that's all i keep telling myself is YELLOW TEETH. if u want to be in the industry girl, u can't have no yellow teeth.